At 26, with two kids already
At 26, with two kids already, just a few months away from being a college grad, just beginning my internship, finding out I was pregnant wasn't the most pleasant surprise. With my second pregnancy, although it caught me off guard, I felt that I could manage two children. Although my daughters father and I are separated, and he does provide financially, most of the responsibilities such as doctors appointments, dinner, homework, baths, and so forth - it all falls on me. Becoming pregnant for a third time, seemed overwhelming. As hard as I tried pointing out the positives of the pregnancy, I could only think of the negatives. How would I afford daycare? How will I be able to financially support three children when their dad can't find a stable job? Where will the energy and the patience of raising three kids come from? The biggest fact is that yes, all things are possible for those who put their minds to it. However, at this point in life, I've exerted all of the energy I have and I just don't want to continue struggling. Many positive things do come from a struggle, such as a higher appreciation for things, a larger sense of independence, etc. Living with this secret is definitely hard. Knowing that I ended a life, took a sibling away from my children is hard to suppress, but ultimately I do feel as though I made the best decision for me. No one person can tell you what is right and what is right for you. Abortion is a choice and I do believe it is possible to move on, but I also think it is good to let it all out and share your story. I will always wonder "what if" but I also need to ensure that the two children I already have are provided for and will not share the same struggle that I did growing up.